When I was in my early 20's, I studied at Ayurveda school in the rolling hills of North Carolina. It was an ideal place for a recovering perfectionist to find respite. My teacher, authorMaya Tiwari, had been told as a young woman that there was nothing that doctors could do for her ovarian cancer, except give her some morphine so she could die peacefully.
Instead, she took to the woods, and healed herself through food, breath, sound, and tapping into ancestral memories. My time at her school was rejuvenating and taught me a ton about living in harmony with nature. And it taught me something powerful that I neglected to put into practice --until now.
Ayurveda is the health science of India, and with it's ancient roots, has many branches, and many elements to contribute to health. Food, breath, sound, daily practices like self massage, seasonal practices like fasting at the change of seasons, or eating what most appropriate to the time of year; there are so many practices that it's often we'll choose those which most suit us.
And neglect the ones that don't seem to.
So I paid minimal attention to connecting with ancestors.
Enter my neighbor.
Kristopher almost died from malaria after living in Africa for a month. An Ayurvedic doctor rejuvenated him to full capacity.
And K shared with me that in Africa,
when people want more money, they honor the ancestors.
And October is the perfect time for that.
Pitru Paksha is 16 days in September/October. This is the time period in Hinduism which is considered best to pay respect to the ancestors, through offerings, especially of food. Pitru Paksha is simple to do, and you can kind of customize it to your own needs... and it brings a tremendous peace and freedom of mind.
There's a mythology to this observance which I'll post below.
Every year, a 15-16 day spread marks the presence of our ancestors on the earth. It's considered a time when ancestors ascend on the Earth to bless their children and lineage. Food is offered to dogs, cows and crows, and it's believed that the food offered helps the ancestors feel satisfied. But do you know why offering food to elders carries such significance during Pitru Paksha 2021?
Pitru Paksha 2021 & Significance Of Offering Food To Elders
As per Hindu Puranas, we owe a karmic debt to our ancestors because they have helped us take birth. After getting free from the circle of life and death from Earth, our 3 preceding generations reside in the world between heaven and earth. Here, our ancestors are not able to find respite from their bodily needs such as hunger, pain, thirst and heat. Only the Pooja performed by the succeeding generations on earth can provide them with relief and ensure their entry into heaven. Offering food satisfies the unfulfilled wishes of our ancestors. The ‘Raj Tama’ that emerge from their bodies attrats animals such as cows, dogs and birds like crows. Therefore, we offer food to them. In this manner, it is believed that the dishes and food are fed to the ancestors.
Mythological Legend Of Pitru Paksha
In Hindu mythology, after he died, Karan went to heaven, where he was offered only gold and jewelry. Without food, he was hungry and asked the god Indra why he was being offered jewels and not food. Indra replied that he always offered flowers and jewelry and to his ancestors, but never any food. Karna's response was that he was unable to offer food to his ancestors because he didn't know who they were. Lord Indra took pity on him and blessed him with 15 days to come to earth to correct his mistakes. This is how Pitru Paksha came to be celebrated, Karan took this time to donate water and food in memory of his ancestors.
Pitru Paksha Suggestions
Traditionally Rice, and water are offered to the Ancestors.
Any food that your grandparents really liked is also a really good choice: things like coffee, potatoes, a special fruit, etc. Black sesame is also a traditional food that is considered very good to offer.
Starting any work like new studies or projects, or making a big purchase such as a new home or vehicle is generally saved for after this 15 day period.
You can light a candle or ghee lamp and make a prayer or request that your ancestors are freed from any suffering or negative ties. Ho'oponopono can be used, or Paul Selig's statement from the Guides: "I know who you are, I know what you are, I know how you serve. You are Free. You are Free. You are Free."
Just like each of us has a dominant sense (or two)
~ from your interior designer friend who can visualize a dump into a dream home,
to your touchy-feely massage therapist,
to your friend from school who remembers everything they hear,
we each have intuitive senses that are more or less dominant as well.
While there are fancy names for these different talents: Clairvoyance, Clairaudience, Clairsentience and Claircognizance, Empathy
- they really just differentiate intuitive strengths.
You have an intuitive strength, even if you don't know it.
If you think you aren't intuitive, or if you doubt yourself a lot, you may be trying to use one of the intuitive senses that isn't your forte (and not even know it)!
Or your doubt may come from dimming your intuitive capacities because they scare you -- or scared somebody else. Perhaps this happened when you were so young that you don't even remember it.
Is this you? You may like Clearing the Blocks to Your Intuition
Here are the different intuitive categories.
Claircognizance is when you just know something. This may feel like you just know it from nowhere, or there may be guiding factors like signs. "I just knew he was the one." "I just knew I had to go."
Clairvoyance is when you "see" information -- you get visuals of the turn to take, or the person you'll meet, or the mishap that could occur. This may occur far ahead of time, a moment before. Many people find that when they take up meditation, their sense of inner vision becomes stronger. Some people put the images we receive during dream time at night in this category, while others put it in a category of its own.
Clairaudience is hearing. "Go left," you may hear. "Say hello to the man in red," "Stop," or "Don't." These may come in bite-sized, bits or in lengthy communication. Sometimes you may not even like to follow these directions because they don't always make sense, but you know that following them does make life better.
Clairsentience often shows up as a gut feeling, though it can show up as other sensations in the body as well.... often goosebumps is an indication of clairsentience. When you feel a sense of contraction or expansion in the heart area on making decisions, it would fall under this category. If you're dominant in clairsentience, you may have been told , "You're too sensitive." No you're not. You have clairsentience.
Empathy if you get overwhelmed being in crowds, or sense how someone is feeling without them having to tell you, you likely have this capacity. Empathy could even be a classification it's own because if you are an empath it impacts your life in a multitude of ways on a daily basis. For some people, their empathic capacities can even be debilitating... limiting them from going places, being in crowds, or interacting with people.
If you're feeling that way, You may like my short program that has helped 100s of people: Help I Am an Empath
Note: as mentioned above, getting information from dreams could be considered yet another category.
No intuitive sense is better than the others.
The challenge is when we try to make intuition be one best way! Often we want what we don't have. "They" are intuitive because they see. Or know.
For example, if you keep trying to do visualization, when a more natural method for you would be intuitive writing. Or if you try to sense light or heavy sensation in your body, and your inner voice keeps trying to nudge you with words!
Having read the different intuitive styles above, start to play with how you receive your info.
When we acknowledge our own capacities, we develop them even more, and allow them to shine!
Many of us have blocked our true capacities because of early childhood experiences. We learned to trust others more than our own intuitive seeing sensing hearing or knowing.
Join us in Clearing the Blocks to Your Intuition
Some people you just get. Even though you may not have a huge amount in common, there's a special connection. That's how I felt about Carol Kline, even before I got to know her.
The moment I knew I had to have a chat with her, I was lounging on my patio, feeling the evening breeze descend as the night grew darker, reading Conscious Luck, the book Carol co-authored with self-help/consciousness luminary Gay Hendricks. As I read a story she told, my whole body lit up, and I got the sense of 100% certainty I had to have her on the show.
So I responded Yes, to the publicist who had sent me the book.
And I wasn't disappointed. 8 Secrets to Conscious Luck was such a dream come true show. Gay joined us as well, and let's just say, I've had his books on my shelves since I was 22 years old! One of them even made a round the world trip with me to Bali, London, Chicago and back to Maui.
What a fun hour it was chatting with not only 1, but 2 multiple New York Times bestselling authors, who are also just really authentic, loving people.
This show outlines simple ways to make luck a conscious, rather than a random thing. (Your life will get better, I promise.... if you do the things!)
Watch it here. Listen Here
I reached out to Carol after the show-- sometimes you just have to follow that intuitive nudge, even if it feels like, 'I hope I'm not imposing', and we got to know each other, through some fun phone chats.
We share a love of animals, breathing practices, and expanding consciousness. Oh, and writing.
So it was only natural that we got together and recorded a conversation about writing. And the conversation isn't only about putting words onto the page. We also chatted about sorting your many bits of notes and interviews, getting published (self vs traditional publishing), being perfectionistic, and more....
The show will be on Omtimes Radio on October 22nd and on iTunes, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Youtube & elsewhere after that! Watch it here, or Listen Here
And watch, later this fall, for our article in OmTimes Magazine!
Relationship cords are energetic connections between us and another person that drain, and limit us from expressing and fully choosing what we would like to choose.
The Kahuna I interned with years ago, used to say, "cords are the number one energetic block I see." So when I went to a psychic development school, I wasn't surprised when there was a whole section on cords. They are a big deal.
Throughout our lives, we unconsciously create cords with people (and at first, they often feel good!) however if you feel drawn back into negative patterns with an ex, or have frustration with a loved one, often it's because of these cords.
Cords are sometimes described as unhealthy attachments that need to be energetically cut, like with scissors or a knife... yet, a Hawaiian shaman taught me other ways of releasing them because if you let these go just by “cutting” them, it can create health challenges and undesirable outcomes.
Often in new-age communities people talk about cutting cords, yet the mystery school teachings emphasize NOT to do that. In fact, a lot of times, the cutting cords methods don't really work. They give a temporary feeling of relief for something that needs a deeper level of change.
Kahuna Ho'okahi's perspective was different. She doesn't like that people cut cords because a part of that energetic cord remains in your body. It's sort of like a foreign invader because, cut off from that other person, the energy really has nowhere to discharge to. It just remains, stuck, and what do stuck things do? They fester. While life goes on around them, they create blocks and disharmony. She said that many diseases are as a result of such energies.
So... what to do? We need to release cords from the root instead of leaving a piece in your body. There are some simple ways to do that which don't take much time.
Purchase How to Release Relationship Cords. Join a class
"It was roughly a month after I moved to Maui that I met the Kahuna (Hawaiian Shaman) I would eventually study with. It happened, as many life-changing things do, in an unexpected and unusual way.
The week before, I'd posted on Craigslist offering an abundance of wire hangers - for free.
The following day, a man called, asking for many details about the hangers. How many, are they only wire - no cardboard, and on and on.
I remember thinking, this guy is a little strange, but I gave him my address so he could collect his loot.
When he (I'll call him Eric) arrived, I could only find 3 of the 25 hangers. My husband was left to deal with him, as I had a coaching call I was engaged in, and the two men got to talking.
"I must be here for a reason other than hangers," Eric said. "My wife had a dream last night in which she created a statue from hangers and that's what these are for."
Their chat continued, and Eric mentioned that he and his wife worked with a Kahuna, and invited us to come along to her program that Friday night.
When we met, the Kahuna smiled at me. "You're 440." She said.
I must have looked at her with puzzlement, because she responded,
"440 means means you can hold and transmit high levels of energy."
I was fascinated.
Her arrival in my life was in response to an ask.
Earlier on the day we met Eric, I'd mentioned to a mentor that I wanted to do Chi Gung to deepen my awareness of energy.
When you ask, the Universe hears you, and your ask isn't necessarily answered in the way you'd expect. For the next 2.5 years, working with this Kahuna deepened my awareness of and abilities with energy in magical and amazing ways.
She taught me to use my intuitive capacities for guiding and healing others, physically mentally and emotionally.
She taught me Ho’oponopono, the Bowl of Light practice, and symbols and journeys from ancient mystical traditions.
And she initiated me into high frequencies of energy, which she would smile and say, "a quantum leap beyond Reiki."
And it is. I was disappointed when she stopped teaching, but I was fortunate to learn these mystical magical practices, and continue to use them to this day.
Find out more...
bowl of light practice
I did an online meditation retreat this week.
On the first day, the Rupert Spira, the teacher asked that we drop our expectations.
Expectations are the antithesis of living here, now... which is what meditation is. I came into the retreat thinking that the 7 days would bring me more expansion, light and peace, and reluctantly let this expectation go.
What the retreat brought was something much different.
It brought me face to face with the uncomfortable emotions lurking in the deep. Interspersed with spacious presence, I found moments of angst, tiredness, and later, sadness. Deep sadness.
Sadness I’d held and socked away over the years.
“Embrace the feeling,” he said. “Dive in, hold it close, don’t push it away. The act of resistance perpetuates whatever you don’t want. Make friends and invite it in. Get to the space where you could live with it forever.”
I asked myself, Would I be willing to live with this forever? Surprisingly, the instant I realized I would, I opened myself fully to the grief. Which caused it to drop away.
In life, each of us craves to be seen. In the same way, those deeply hidden parts, the woundedness and raw vulnerability crave to be acknowledged, met by one who does not reject them or see them as bad.
On being seen and received -in totality- there is no need for them to stick around. You’re the spaciousness of Being. There is nothing to stick to.
You can practice this by saying "I totally and fully accept you. My Being is unaffected- you cannot impact me in any way." Recognize that it's your rejection of the feeling that makes it unpleasant. Nothing is forcing you to embrace it or reject it, except you.
Say yes to the feeling, be welcoming of the experience and release the need for life to be different.
You are the ever-present sky beyond the cloud. This feeling is simply a transitory energy that has no impact on the sky itself. Meditation is a universal yes to everything. That is the nature of your Self. Something you Be already. Beneath it all.
As I was growing up, if I wasn’t dancing, I had my nose in a book. My mom was a psychologist, so she had shelves of fascinating books that I’d squirrel away.
Learned Optimism, Being Happy, The Way of Zen, You Can Heal Your Life... these are just a handful of the books I had at my fingertips as a young teen.
And I consumed them, both in written form, and as cassette tapes!
Louise Hay touted the power of mirror work, so I'd sit in front of the mirror and affirm: I am smart, I am beautiful. What I didn't know was that later in life, a very different sort of mirror work would jolt me out of the story of me.... the story of a being that doesn't feel good enough, an individual who needs to prove, to strive, to attain. And into the very spaciousness of Being itself.
Sitting in front of the mirror helped me discover that I don't have awareness, I Am awareness. You don't have awareness, you Are awareness.
The practice is simple.
Looking in the mirror, at your own eyes. "I am not that story." I am not that. Whatever comes up, you are not that. You never were. And what you are begins to emerge. Uncovered.
It's always been there. Clouded by roles. Covered by identification with the things you think you are. And by identifying what you are not, what you are, that ever-present awareness, becomes even more clear.
When I meditated, I was often looking for "the witness" that which is observing experience. And through this new sort of mirror-work, I realized that there IS NO WITNESS.
There is only witnessing. Only awareness - aware of itself.
And that knowing changes everything.
This presence of myself as awareness isn't with me every moment of the day... the old conditioning is still present much of the time, yet who I truly am becomes clearer every day, as the old conditioning dissolves and drops away bit by bit.
Here's a video to hear more! And the radio show
Ho’oponopono is the practice of forgiveness. Literally meaning, to make right, you can think of a cup that’s off balance, and you correct its position and put it upright. The practice alters your relationship to your experience, so you no longer resist or push against what life delivers. (And this actually changes what shows up for you!)
Often when we think of ho’oponopono, four phrases come to mind.
I love you
Please forgive me
is the most widely known version, and it’s a very powerful practice, popularized in recent years by Joel Vitale. Yet when referring to this ancient Hawaiian practice, these four phrases are only the tip of the iceberg.
Long ago, ho’oponopono involved gathering the parties who are involved in a disagreement, and having them come to a “safe space“ where everyone could give their perspective and reach reconciliation.
Over time, particularly over the past forty years, the practice became a more personal endeavor, involving taking a look at one’s own part in any conflict, and releasing the memories, patterns, and programming that created the impasse.
There are several ways of doing this.
Using the four phrases above:
I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, is one way. This way is super-useful to use as you’re going through daily life. Yet simply mouthing the words, without a deeper level of awareness about what you're doing, seems to have a more superficial effect.
As an example of what you're actually doing with these phrases is you're not asking forgiveness of "the other." You're asking forgiveness for your own misperceptions, and anything in YOU that was complicit with the experience you had.
If you have something that's been sapping your energy, the long-form process of Ho'oponopono can provide huge relief! It brings to mind and addresses healing and clearing patterns from your conscious mind, subconscious mind and higher self, family, and ancestors as well as the person you have a conflict with and their family and ancestors. This process also releases negative energies from land and properties, entities and other elements that may be involved in your conflict.
This is a very powerful practice that can change seemingly unchangeable situations.
Finally, there is my favorite ho’oponopono practice.
Less heady than the previous version, the kalana (forgiveness) hut meditation helps release anything unspoken which may be blocking your energy, and help to provide deeper insight into the lessons and the gifts inherent in the conflict. This is done by going on a journey into to your subconscious mind, and communicating with the the Being, Soul or Spirit of the person you’re having challenges with. By being guided in this practice, you both release old energies you've been carrying, and reach a new level of clarity and freedom.
I love sharing the practice of Ho'oponopono because it's created so much freedom from triggers and challenging situations, and helping create clarity and peace in relationships, both intimate, and other! I also love receiving the many emails that come in after the class, recounting how participants’ relationships have changed, including your relationship with the chatter in their own heads!
Join an upcoming Ho'oponopono Class Download the 3 practices & workshop Instantly
This morning I was thinking a lot about image. Being photographed for a magazine cover, I did something I rarely do, something I almost called my magical friend Molly to do, which is put on makeup. Yes, to many it's an ordinary thing, but I've somehow convinced myself that "it's hard" or at least, "not my thing" and get away with the requisite mascara, possibly a bit of gloss, and if we're really stretching – blush.
As I swiped the eye shadow, which requires more artistic talent than I'm convinced I have (though I was a ballerina, who am I kidding, I've applied layers of the stuff, thick as Van Gogh's paint) I got to thinking about how we portray ourselves in the world.
In So. Many. Ways.
Who we convince ourselves that we are, even.
For example, as you know, I wear minimal makeup. I tell myself I'm not that girly. Yet I'll wear dresses, I love shoes, wear toenail polish..... so what constitutes "girly" and what doesn't? What a person wears on their face? How much time it takes them to get ready in the morning? How many lotions, and creams and pastes their bathroom holds? What's my story about that? Is it all a lie?
Further....what is my motivation for putting all this stuff on my face today, versus every other day? What face am I trying to show the world that I'm not ordinarily trying to show it? Who am i trying to impress? And beyond that, what is the face that we show to the world, and what is the face we hide from it? (And I'm not only referring to faces) I am the person who (insert words here) and would gladly have you know it. I am a person who would rather not have you know I pick my face, or yell at my kids or what-have-you.
And how much of our idea about ourselves is a selective history.... based on inaccurate memories from some illusive past? - I'm a poor student because of the day in 7th grade I forgot all the details on the test about Jack London, and I couldn't remember what reflexive pronouns were. (True story) - Neglecting the fact that I didn't give a hoot about Jack London; (I thought his stories were repetitive and boring,) and forgetting all the achievement awards and "highest ranking student" awards that I collected during that year and others. Those didn't matter, you see. They weren't in English -the only subject that mattered to me, probably because it was where I didn't earn awards!
What face do you present to the world? What would you prefer they don't see?
What is the story you tell yourself about You? What if it really isn't that way at all? Is there a different story you'd rather tell? What if that story is equally relevant and valid?
What if none of them are true? They are the reflections of clouds floating across the clear pond. You are the pond, identifying with the reflections. Yes, reflections are fun, yet how much deeper are you than that?! Just an image. Only temporary. And fun while it lasts.
The makeup is now off my face. Rolling into another day, it just so happens to be my birthday. And if I identify with the story, this day is significant. If I don't, it's not. Either way, how can I live this day fully, with abandon? As though it's my first, and my last? Because it is. Without attachment to image, it is.
A certified transformative coach, yoga therapist, author, + adventurer, Kathy has coached people to happier lives for over 20 years. (Has it really been that long?)