Some people you just get. Even though you may not have a huge amount in common, there's a special connection. That's how I felt about Carol Kline, even before I got to know her.
The moment I knew I had to have a chat with her, I was lounging on my patio, feeling the evening breeze descend as the night grew darker, reading Conscious Luck, the book Carol co-authored with self-help/consciousness luminary Gay Hendricks. As I read a story she told, my whole body lit up, and I got the sense of 100% certainty I had to have her on the show.
So I responded Yes, to the publicist who had sent me the book.
And I wasn't disappointed. 8 Secrets to Conscious Luck was such a dream come true show. Gay joined us as well, and let's just say, I've had his books on my shelves since I was 22 years old! One of them even made a round the world trip with me to Bali, London, Chicago and back to Maui.
What a fun hour it was chatting with not only 1, but 2 multiple New York Times bestselling authors, who are also just really authentic, loving people.
This show outlines simple ways to make luck a conscious, rather than a random thing. (Your life will get better, I promise.... if you do the things!)
Watch it here. Listen Here
I reached out to Carol after the show-- sometimes you just have to follow that intuitive nudge, even if it feels like, 'I hope I'm not imposing', and we got to know each other, through some fun phone chats.
We share a love of animals, breathing practices, and expanding consciousness. Oh, and writing.
So it was only natural that we got together and recorded a conversation about writing. And the conversation isn't only about putting words onto the page. We also chatted about sorting your many bits of notes and interviews, getting published (self vs traditional publishing), being perfectionistic, and more....
The show will be on Omtimes Radio on October 22nd and on iTunes, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Youtube & elsewhere after that! Watch it here, or Listen Here
And watch, later this fall, for our article in OmTimes Magazine!
Relationship cords are energetic connections between us and another person that drain, and limit us from expressing and fully choosing what we would like to choose.
The Kahuna I interned with years ago, used to say, "cords are the number one energetic block I see." So when I went to a psychic development school, I wasn't surprised when there was a whole section on cords. They are a big deal.
Throughout our lives, we unconsciously create cords with people (and at first, they often feel good!) however if you feel drawn back into negative patterns with an ex, or have frustration with a loved one, often it's because of these cords.
Cords are sometimes described as unhealthy attachments that need to be energetically cut, like with scissors or a knife... yet, a Hawaiian shaman taught me other ways of releasing them because if you let these go just by “cutting” them, it can create health challenges and undesirable outcomes.
Often in new-age communities people talk about cutting cords, yet the mystery school teachings emphasize NOT to do that. In fact, a lot of times, the cutting cords methods don't really work. They give a temporary feeling of relief for something that needs a deeper level of change.
Kahuna Ho'okahi's perspective was different. She doesn't like that people cut cords because a part of that energetic cord remains in your body. It's sort of like a foreign invader because, cut off from that other person, the energy really has nowhere to discharge to. It just remains, stuck, and what do stuck things do? They fester. While life goes on around them, they create blocks and disharmony. She said that many diseases are as a result of such energies.
So... what to do? We need to release cords from the root instead of leaving a piece in your body. There are some simple ways to do that which don't take much time.
Purchase How to Release Relationship Cords. Join a class
"It was roughly a month after I moved to Maui that I met the Kahuna (Hawaiian Shaman) I would eventually study with. It happened, as many life-changing things do, in an unexpected and unusual way.
The week before, I'd posted on Craigslist offering an abundance of wire hangers - for free.
The following day, a man called, asking for many details about the hangers. How many, are they only wire - no cardboard, and on and on.
I remember thinking, this guy is a little strange, but I gave him my address so he could collect his loot.
When he (I'll call him Eric) arrived, I could only find 3 of the 25 hangers. My husband was left to deal with him, as I had a coaching call I was engaged in, and the two men got to talking.
"I must be here for a reason other than hangers," Eric said. "My wife had a dream last night in which she created a statue from hangers and that's what these are for."
Their chat continued, and Eric mentioned that he and his wife worked with a Kahuna, and invited us to come along to her program that Friday night.
When we met, the Kahuna smiled at me. "You're 440." She said.
I must have looked at her with puzzlement, because she responded,
"440 means means you can hold and transmit high levels of energy."
I was fascinated.
Her arrival in my life was in response to an ask.
Earlier on the day we met Eric, I'd mentioned to a mentor that I wanted to do Chi Gung to deepen my awareness of energy.
When you ask, the Universe hears you, and your ask isn't necessarily answered in the way you'd expect. For the next 2.5 years, working with this Kahuna deepened my awareness of and abilities with energy in magical and amazing ways.
She taught me to use my intuitive capacities for guiding and healing others, physically mentally and emotionally.
She taught me Ho’oponopono, the Bowl of Light practice, and symbols and journeys from ancient mystical traditions.
And she initiated me into high frequencies of energy, which she would smile and say, "a quantum leap beyond Reiki."
And it is. I was disappointed when she stopped teaching, but I was fortunate to learn these mystical magical practices, and continue to use them to this day.
Find out more...
bowl of light practice
I did an online meditation retreat this week.
On the first day, the Rupert Spira, the teacher asked that we drop our expectations.
Expectations are the antithesis of living here, now... which is what meditation is. I came into the retreat thinking that the 7 days would bring me more expansion, light and peace, and reluctantly let this expectation go.
What the retreat brought was something much different.
It brought me face to face with the uncomfortable emotions lurking in the deep. Interspersed with spacious presence, I found moments of angst, tiredness, and later, sadness. Deep sadness.
Sadness I’d held and socked away over the years.
“Embrace the feeling,” he said. “Dive in, hold it close, don’t push it away. The act of resistance perpetuates whatever you don’t want. Make friends and invite it in. Get to the space where you could live with it forever.”
I asked myself, Would I be willing to live with this forever? Surprisingly, the instant I realized I would, I opened myself fully to the grief. Which caused it to drop away.
In life, each of us craves to be seen. In the same way, those deeply hidden parts, the woundedness and raw vulnerability crave to be acknowledged, met by one who does not reject them or see them as bad.
On being seen and received -in totality- there is no need for them to stick around. You’re the spaciousness of Being. There is nothing to stick to.
You can practice this by saying "I totally and fully accept you. My Being is unaffected- you cannot impact me in any way." Recognize that it's your rejection of the feeling that makes it unpleasant. Nothing is forcing you to embrace it or reject it, except you.
Say yes to the feeling, be welcoming of the experience and release the need for life to be different.
You are the ever-present sky beyond the cloud. This feeling is simply a transitory energy that has no impact on the sky itself. Meditation is a universal yes to everything. That is the nature of your Self. Something you Be already. Beneath it all.
As I was growing up, if I wasn’t dancing, I had my nose in a book. My mom was a psychologist, so she had shelves of fascinating books that I’d squirrel away.
Learned Optimism, Being Happy, The Way of Zen, You Can Heal Your Life... these are just a handful of the books I had at my fingertips as a young teen.
And I consumed them, both in written form, and as cassette tapes!
Louise Hay touted the power of mirror work, so I'd sit in front of the mirror and affirm: I am smart, I am beautiful. What I didn't know was that later in life, a very different sort of mirror work would jolt me out of the story of me.... the story of a being that doesn't feel good enough, an individual who needs to prove, to strive, to attain. And into the very spaciousness of Being itself.
Sitting in front of the mirror helped me discover that I don't have awareness, I Am awareness. You don't have awareness, you Are awareness.
The practice is simple.
Looking in the mirror, at your own eyes. "I am not that story." I am not that. Whatever comes up, you are not that. You never were. And what you are begins to emerge. Uncovered.
It's always been there. Clouded by roles. Covered by identification with the things you think you are. And by identifying what you are not, what you are, that ever-present awareness, becomes even more clear.
When I meditated, I was often looking for "the witness" that which is observing experience. And through this new sort of mirror-work, I realized that there IS NO WITNESS.
There is only witnessing. Only awareness - aware of itself.
And that knowing changes everything.
This presence of myself as awareness isn't with me every moment of the day... the old conditioning is still present much of the time, yet who I truly am becomes clearer every day, as the old conditioning dissolves and drops away bit by bit.
Here's a video to hear more! And the radio show
Ho’oponopono is the practice of forgiveness. Literally meaning, to make right, you can think of a cup that’s off balance, and you correct its position and put it upright. The practice alters your relationship to your experience, so you no longer resist or push against what life delivers. (And this actually changes what shows up for you!)
Often when we think of ho’oponopono, four phrases come to mind.
I love you
Please forgive me
is the most widely known version, and it’s a very powerful practice, popularized in recent years by Joel Vitale. Yet when referring to this ancient Hawaiian practice, these four phrases are only the tip of the iceberg.
Long ago, ho’oponopono involved gathering the parties who are involved in a disagreement, and having them come to a “safe space“ where everyone could give their perspective and reach reconciliation.
Over time, particularly over the past forty years, the practice became a more personal endeavor, involving taking a look at one’s own part in any conflict, and releasing the memories, patterns, and programming that created the impasse.
There are several ways of doing this.
Using the four phrases above:
I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, is one way. This way is super-useful to use as you’re going through daily life. Yet simply mouthing the words, without a deeper level of awareness about what you're doing, seems to have a more superficial effect.
As an example of what you're actually doing with these phrases is you're not asking forgiveness of "the other." You're asking forgiveness for your own misperceptions, and anything in YOU that was complicit with the experience you had.
If you have something that's been sapping your energy, the long-form process of Ho'oponopono can provide huge relief! It brings to mind and addresses healing and clearing patterns from your conscious mind, subconscious mind and higher self, family, and ancestors as well as the person you have a conflict with and their family and ancestors. This process also releases negative energies from land and properties, entities and other elements that may be involved in your conflict.
This is a very powerful practice that can change seemingly unchangeable situations.
Finally, there is my favorite ho’oponopono practice.
Less heady than the previous version, the kalana (forgiveness) hut meditation helps release anything unspoken which may be blocking your energy, and help to provide deeper insight into the lessons and the gifts inherent in the conflict. This is done by going on a journey into to your subconscious mind, and communicating with the the Being, Soul or Spirit of the person you’re having challenges with. By being guided in this practice, you both release old energies you've been carrying, and reach a new level of clarity and freedom.
I love sharing the practice of Ho'oponopono because it's created so much freedom from triggers and challenging situations, and helping create clarity and peace in relationships, both intimate, and other! I also love receiving the many emails that come in after the class, recounting how participants’ relationships have changed, including your relationship with the chatter in their own heads!
Join an upcoming Ho'oponopono Class Download the 3 practices & workshop Instantly
This morning I was thinking a lot about image. Being photographed for a magazine cover, I did something I rarely do, something I almost called my magical friend Molly to do, which is put on makeup. Yes, to many it's an ordinary thing, but I've somehow convinced myself that "it's hard" or at least, "not my thing" and get away with the requisite mascara, possibly a bit of gloss, and if we're really stretching – blush.
As I swiped the eye shadow, which requires more artistic talent than I'm convinced I have (though I was a ballerina, who am I kidding, I've applied layers of the stuff, thick as Van Gogh's paint) I got to thinking about how we portray ourselves in the world.
In So. Many. Ways.
Who we convince ourselves that we are, even.
For example, as you know, I wear minimal makeup. I tell myself I'm not that girly. Yet I'll wear dresses, I love shoes, wear toenail polish..... so what constitutes "girly" and what doesn't? What a person wears on their face? How much time it takes them to get ready in the morning? How many lotions, and creams and pastes their bathroom holds? What's my story about that? Is it all a lie?
Further....what is my motivation for putting all this stuff on my face today, versus every other day? What face am I trying to show the world that I'm not ordinarily trying to show it? Who am i trying to impress? And beyond that, what is the face that we show to the world, and what is the face we hide from it? (And I'm not only referring to faces) I am the person who (insert words here) and would gladly have you know it. I am a person who would rather not have you know I pick my face, or yell at my kids or what-have-you.
And how much of our idea about ourselves is a selective history.... based on inaccurate memories from some illusive past? - I'm a poor student because of the day in 7th grade I forgot all the details on the test about Jack London, and I couldn't remember what reflexive pronouns were. (True story) - Neglecting the fact that I didn't give a hoot about Jack London; (I thought his stories were repetitive and boring,) and forgetting all the achievement awards and "highest ranking student" awards that I collected during that year and others. Those didn't matter, you see. They weren't in English -the only subject that mattered to me, probably because it was where I didn't earn awards!
What face do you present to the world? What would you prefer they don't see?
What is the story you tell yourself about You? What if it really isn't that way at all? Is there a different story you'd rather tell? What if that story is equally relevant and valid?
What if none of them are true? They are the reflections of clouds floating across the clear pond. You are the pond, identifying with the reflections. Yes, reflections are fun, yet how much deeper are you than that?! Just an image. Only temporary. And fun while it lasts.
The makeup is now off my face. Rolling into another day, it just so happens to be my birthday. And if I identify with the story, this day is significant. If I don't, it's not. Either way, how can I live this day fully, with abandon? As though it's my first, and my last? Because it is. Without attachment to image, it is.
I was 19. Ballet school was brutal. While they might be nice to your face, the girls were in it to win, and if you showed an ounce of talent, or fortitude, there was fuel against you.
"Only 3 of you are thin enough- Ingrid, Cleo & Elizabeth." The words spoken in Spanish twinged English still ring in my ears today.
This obviously excluded me. So, with the rigors of physically pressing my limits, emotionally handling the teacher I could never please and girls who were full of spite, combined with the juggle of babysitting, a mandatory public speaking class and rehearsals of a ballet that I was afraid I'd be thrown into without having had enough rehearsal time, my body shut down. I got sick. But wouldn't eat. Because I wasn't dancing. Therefore I must not be burning calories. So as fever burnt the pounds off my already thin body, my illness dragged on and on, without nutrients or nourishment to heal.
After 3 weeks I finally recovered. I returned to rehearsals as the lead in a duet, and the understudy for a Paquita solo. "You're looking a little thin," a comment I received, I shrugged off, figuring that maybe I'd be one of the 3, now 4 who were actually thin enough.
Still, Ingrid Cleo & Elizabeth were the only ones thin enough in Claudio's eyes. Yet I danced on, and somehow, practicing from the back of the studio, caught the director's eye, and became the first cast in Paquita, instead of the understudy.
Rehearsing the same ballet day after day, receiving feedback about a sickled foot, or an arm out of place, my mind went into a tailspin. "They're going to take me out of it. I'll never get into the company," were daily thoughts that plagued me, both in rehearsals and out. Bloody blisters or purple toenails were of less concern than whether the -now understudy- would take back her solo from my incapable execution. Any comments, "It looks great, Kathy," or "It's really good." were empty, because they came from other students, and not from the people who mattered.
Anxiety dulled my hunger and pushed away sleep. Any admonitions to "eat more," or "don't lose any more weight," from teachers at the school meant nothing, because they didn't come from those from whom I desired approval oh, so badly.
Until the day my yoga teacher said, "Eat more. Or you're going to die. You have 3 days, or I'm going to do something."
Yoga was my saving grace. It was the place I'd hobble into 3x a week, and walk out of, uncrippled. Body unwound, spirit at peace, once I found yoga, I could go to sleep and wake up to face another physically and emotionally strenuous day without taking it all so seriously.
Yet I had heard his tone of voice. He wasn't kidding. I needed to eat. I didn't know what. Or how.
But I heard someone who was concerned. Someone who really cared. Someone who took the time, not just to make a passing judgment, but to make a phone call to say, hey, this is up. It's got to change.
So, one snack at a time, I journaled my calories into existence. Knowing that I might never fit in with Cleo, Ingrid or Elizabeth, but that I might actually have a life because someone cared, I began to dance for me. Not
for the man who considered me too fat, as the others admonished me
Remaining in a posture and gazing at one's favorite (ishta) icon and
experiencing a feeling of bliss is called “trataka”. It is of two
types, anta and bahi. To gaze at an outside object like an icon is
external trataka. Closing one's eyes and 'imaging' the object
internally and continually focusing attention in between the eyebrows
is the antah(r)trataka or internal gazing. One can practice this
between one to ten minutes.
T. Krishnamacharya, November 18, 1888 – February 28, 1989, is considered the father of modern Yoga.
This is an excerpt of a teaching from Sri Krishnamacharya to his student Srivatsa Ramaswami:
When one starts to learn Yoga, in the beginning the duration of
practice can be as little as 15 to 20 minutes. One can gradually
increase the duration. The teacher should check the breath every day
and then increase the duration of practice. Whatever be the posture,
if one could stay for a long time without the limbs going to sleep (or
numb) or any pain or discomfort then such a practitioner is known as
jitasana (the conqueror/master of an asana.) While staying in an asana
one should not unnecessarily shake the body, bend or contort or move
and if one can stay for hours then such a yogi is a jitasana. We learn
from the works and sayings of yogis that in the olden days the rishis,
every day would remain in any one asana for three hours and do
pranayama and meditation. Then if the yogi is able to remain doing
long inhalation, exhalation and kumbhaka without feeling any kind of
fatigue and for a long period of time such a person would be called
“Jitaprana” or Jitaswasa, or one who has conquered the breath.
A certified transformative coach, yoga therapist, author, + adventurer, Kathy has coached people to happier lives for over 20 years. (Has it really been that long?)